Thursday, December 2, 2010

Mona Lisa Causes Uproar Among Christos

Upon its display in the Uffizi Gallery shortly after its recovery from the famed Louvre theft, the painting of the Mona Lisa caused a protest among the minority cult known as "Christos", the Italian branch of the international organization branched originally from Judaism. The Florentine Christos found the painting to be "discriminatory" to quote Venetian church leader Giuseppe Melchiorre Sarto. The cryptic smile that had so caught the attention of Symbolist movement of the 19th century is said to be hinting at "woman's domination of god."

According to the cult's history, their founder Yeshua was at Passover in Jerusalem despite warnings that the ruling religious leaders may try for an attempt upon his life. As spontaneously as a changed mind, he left the Garden of Gethsemane saying "This cup has passed from me" and sneaked out of the city with his followers. While he would continue to struggle with the religious norms, he would live more quietly in Galilee, marrying a woman from Bethany named Mary, and dying peacefully at the reported age of 120 years.

This offshoot of Judaism would spread quickly through the Greek world as Gentiles were allowed to convert without necessarily following the Jewish Law. It would join many of the savior cults of the mid-Roman Empire, such as those of Demeter and Mithras, this one specializing in grace and detachment from material possessions. While continuing despite its insistence upon a single god, the cult would ultimately be overshadowed by modern Isis-worship, evident today in temples and Ankh-necklaces seen throughout the world.

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